operation harelip BJ is a go
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
