so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
i think my cat just said my name.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
