You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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