the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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