Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
