we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize