Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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