its not stalking. its research.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
