So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
