went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
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