I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
