How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
