distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
