We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
