my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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