We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
