all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
