when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
