I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize