Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
two words...techno handjob
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
