I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
