I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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