my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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