cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
