i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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