Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
