Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
