Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
no you cant smoke seaweed
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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