I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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