Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
