All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
