her vagina looked like bernie madoff
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I touched a dick in church today
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