Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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