Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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