just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
