I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I would ride that face into the sunset
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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