I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
