So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Your dad touched me again.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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