I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
