Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
