My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
