i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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