thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
