just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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