Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
