she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
