Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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