Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
