Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
