hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
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$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
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She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
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