Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
