TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
