You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
