can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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