He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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