Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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