In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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