Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
