Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
