Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
