At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
