I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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