my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
